In the mean time

Good food, good health, good life! 

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I’ve just come back from a brief jaunt to Queensland and found it hard returning to cold, blustery old Adelaide. While there I visited the Eumundie markets and was amazed by the paella man’s huge wok - I mean this was HUUUGE! Well, at least I thought it was until he showed me a photo of one that is used, somewhere overseas and they didn’t just add the rice by the cup full - they literally had bucket loads of the stuff! The wok itself was big enough to easily fit at least 20 people in - hmmmm, I hope it wasn’t used to cook humans in before, now there’s food for thought!

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Wainfleet.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.  However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”

For lunch the old man made hamburgers.  Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them.  Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.  John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”.
Without diverting his attention from the hockey game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted .

“COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!” 

Meet ColdWater!

” I have some feedback for you regarding the Xmas Goodies:

1.Chocolates were so yummy I should have ordered more! 

2. Fruit cake was so rich that I couldn’t eat the whole thing in one sitting soo….. I waited half a day and scoffed the lot, down to the last sultana.

3. Decorations were waay too impressive that I could not pass them off as my own.

4. Truffles? Where did they go????? I didn’t get to eat even ONE as they mysteriously disappeared 30 seconds after putting them on the table!

5, Too many moans and groans came from within the cupboard after noticing the fruit cake had disappeared and they returned with just the empty box.

6. We hadn’t ordered enough!

7. Bitter arguments over the chocolate mud cake, resulting in mud cake scoffing session to see who could eat the most the fastest.

8. Next Christmas is too far away! “

I haven’t always been aware that I was such a threat. I have always considered myself a relatively harmless, caring, sharing sort of person who has respect for all life, regardless of breed or size. However, I am deluded. It seems I am a menace to society, something to be treated as an out cast. Why?

I KEEP BOTTLED WATER IN MY BAG!!!! 

This situation occurred long before it was forbidden to take any kind of fluids onto planes and under the circumstances and considering the reasons I’d be only too happen to relinquish my bottled water. However, let me take you back a few months before news of sabotage on English aero planes was even an issue.
I was just about to go into the movies carrying my bottle of water, when the ticket boy looked at me very nervously. Backing away slowly to a safe distance he stammered “I’m sorry Madam, you’re not allowed to take that bottle of water into the cinema with you.” 

 I‘ve always disliked being called Madam at the best of times, makes me feel I run a house of ill–repute. So in my most intellectually challenged voice I said,
“Eh???”

He repeated the statement.
“Why?” I asked incredulously. It’s got the top on, I’m usually pretty good when it comes to consuming food and drink, I promise I won’t spill it on the seats or spit it at people.”
“It’s not that Madam”
“Then what is it?”
 “You might throw it at someone and cause them injury.”
It was at this point it was all I could do to stop injuring myself splitting my sides with laughter. I’ve watched some pretty weak and badly produced movies in my time, but never been so upset about it that I’ve felt moved to throw something at someone. Or maybe it was the threat I might take to a life of crime robbing poor innocent children of their candy. I could just picture it, me in a ski mask confronting a young child with ice-cream encrusted chin and those wide ‘deer caught in the headlights’ eyes and demanding, ‘Gimme your choc top -NOW – I have a bottle of water in my pocket and I’m not afraid to use it!”
Why is it, that when a minority do something wrong, illegal or improper – it’s the majority that get tarnished with the same brush and have to comply with the broad stroke restrictions as a result? Common sense is no longer common and something as simple and as innocent as a bottle of water can, in the hands of a law abiding citizen, be seen as a lethal weapon. Such a sad indictment on our modern society.
 

Simon’s Mayo and Parmesan Warm Dip Sensation!
Simon says………………….

· Take 2 tins of artichoke hearts and marinate for about a day in good olive oil and some nice herbs from the garden like oregano etc. (you can also buy them already marinated but I like to do this)
· Drain them from the oil mix and slice each half into smaller pieces.
· Mix a 450g jar of S&W mayonnaise with a good cup of shredded parmesan cheese. It must be S&W mayo as it is the best bought one (I don’t know what S&W mayonnaise is, but am attempting to find out - TGC)
the parmie comes in 2 size packs and I use the small one but I’m not sure of the weight (don’t use the powdery style pre-grated only the shredded style)
· Mix the artichoke pieces into the mayo/parmesan and put into an oven- to- table shallow dish and heat just until the cheese is melted, any longer and the mayo will collapse..

Method
Preheat oven 375deg F 190C
Cream butter gradually add sugars beating till light and smooth, beat in egg and
vanilla, sift flour salt and soda together and add to wet mix beating well.
Stir in nuts and choc chips. Place on a greased tray and then in the oven 15-20mins. Leave on the tray for few minutes before placing on a wire rack to cool.

Now that innocuous nursery rhyme has taken on new meaning for me and I hear myself  humming it, menacingly as I hang out washing or other activities that occur under our veranda.

It started off a few years ago. A couple of mating black birds chose a very cosy little nook under our verandah. Good choice. It offered plenty of shade, protection from elements and predators, nice location for rearing and bringing up young. I watched the progress of building the nest, the incubation and hatching of the chicks. The endless trips too and fro by the parents to satisfy what seemed to be an insatiable appetite of the brood. Poor things almost wore themselves out. Then the time came when the brood left the nest and it was a nerve-wracking experience watching them fumble and crash their way around until they got their wings and were able to competently fly where no human had been before.

Well, it seems word got out. Next season the honey eaters and sparrows moved in along side the black birds. Not sure if it was the same pair or their off-spring. It seems it’s a prime piece of real estate for the bird fraternity. This is all very well, but now our idyllic tranquil little paradise under the verandah, has turned into an Alfred Hitchock-ess  nightmare. The noise, the big splotches of bird poop on the out-door furniture and washing, the flicking up of the mulch and bark while birds excavate for worms and bugs, they are truly beginning to ‘rule the roost’. Despite this, I cannot bring myself to interfere with their busy lives and consider them more like annoying guests who outstay their welcome. In the meantime, I can be heard ominously humming ‘Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye, four and twenty black birds baked in a pie………………….” As I hunt the web for Black Bird pie recipes.

Loath as I am to part with my cooking secrets I believe it is for the bettering of mankind! So it is in this light that my seceret spice mix is now available commercially.

Close your eyes, inhale the exotic aromas of these spices as they take you on a journey of a thousand senses!

Many years have been spent perfecting the blend of these spices to ensure they excite even the most old and dry of taste buds! Previously only used in closely guarded recipes, these spices are so versatile, they can be used in selected sweet and savoury dishes without having to modify the blend. As this blend has never been sold commercially before, you will receive - at no extra cost to you -three closely guarded secret recipes namely for soup, main course and dessert, to help you kick start your adventure with these spices. Soon you will be wowing your family and friends with your culinary prowess!

These spices have been prepared in a kitchen designed to meet the standards required to receive Food Safe accreditation, ensuring this product is produced to the very highest quality and hygiene standards.

You will also receive an ‘after sale’ service to suggest and advise on how to get the most out of your spices and answer any questions you may have. So try something different,  nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Weight 50g net

The cost is $7.00

Postage within Australia is $2.00 

To USA $7.00

The first 10 people who order within Australia,  will not be charge postage. For the first 10 people who order from overseas, I will charge postage at Australian rates.

To order - either send an email through this website for instructions or phone 0412 65 1817 Bon appetite!

Kay from USA contributed this recipe - thanks Kay, for sharing!

Put the following into a blender, adding oil slowly:

1/2 C sugar
2 T sesame seeds
1 T poppy seeds
1 T minced onion
1/4 tsp Worchester sauce
1/4 tsp paprika
1/2 C oil (I used canola)
1/4 C cider vinegar

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2 T finely minced fresh onion (separate from what goes into the dressing
above)
1 bunch fresh spinach, washed and torn (might be nice using mesculin or baby spinach too -tgc)
1 1/2 C sliced fresh strawberries

When we hand wash dishes, often the detergent is not rinsed off and residue can lead to ingestion the next time that item is used which can then lead to upset stomaches. It is no good washing up then pouring a cup of hot water over the draining dishes – last I noticed, people eat/drink from the insides of these things NOT the outside, so rinsing off the outside is just a waste of time.
Germs need hot water 60C and over to be killed effectively so if the water is warm enough for you to comfortably submerge your hands in, then it is not hot enough. The water from TGC’s tap is 100C and feels hot even through thick rubber gloves.

You cannot hope to have clean dishes if the water is like soup because food was not removed properly before hand.

Some have said that all this hygiene is over the top and we are creating an environment of super-bugs. To an extent, I believe this is true, however we need to consider other people.
Interesting to note that when we are born, our body scans itself to recognise our bacteria and that of our mother/father and other family members. We therefore can cope with our own bacteria. It’s not until a foreign bacteria presents itself that we encounter a problem. If our immune system is healthy and effective, we can generally fight this off, but not everyone’s immune system is working 100% , which is why it is so easy for us to catch things from other people. So, if preparing food for visitors, friends, public, we need to be extra thorough with hygiene. This includes communal kitchens at work, or other areas where people mix. How often do you see someone finish a drink, rinse their cup under cold water and then just tip it upside down to drain? It’s still crawling with germs and YOU could be the next person to use it - Ewww! There is no reason for mugs and cups to become discolured, this is just a sign they haven’t been cleaned properly. I have mugs that are 35 years old and used frequently and are just as clean today as they were when I bought them. Communal kitchens are a great place to pic up Hepatitis C.

So, here are some basic guidelines for washing up effectively.

1. Thoroughly rinse the item first until all food and drink has been removed
2. Have very hot soapy water – too hot to place hands in without gloves. Should be at least over 60C
3. Wash items thoroughly using brushes, scourers or other implements to ensure all food is removed from hard to get to grooves and crevises.
4. Rinse all bubbles and detergent off inside and outside of item with hot water
5. Leave to drain and air dry
6. Put away as soon as they are dried.

Realise too that your sponges, cloths, tea towels and even (Gasp! Shock! Horror!) your trusted bench disinfectant, can harbour millions of bacterial germs. So,
• Always use a spray bottle, not one that you tip upside down and has contact with the sponge etc

• Sponges and other cleaning items need to be sterilised regularly in boiling water (I actually put mine in boiling water then put them in the microwave on high for 5 mins)
• Tea towels should be discarded after use on a *daily* basis.

Follow these simple tips and you’ll ensure your guests go home with full satisfied tummies and not gastro.